Walking Through Fire

“If you look closely enough, intent upon understanding those things that
cause you great pain and consternation…you’ll find great joy and illumination.
And if you look closer still, you’ll see all such things as proof of life’s infinite grace.”
– Mike Dooley, author

In Issue #232

Editor’s Note: Today’s essay is a little different than the usual here in The Copy Protégé. It is from one of the members of our Mentoring Program, Chris Allsop. Chris is a gifted copywriter, and one of the most determined to succeed I’ve come across in the two years I’ve been coaching. So when she fell off the radar a couple months ago, I started to wonder what was going on. When Chris finally popped her head back up – and shared her story with me of the last couple of months – I knew I had to share it with you.

First, just to spread some good news amidst what seems like a constant stream of bad news all around. And also, for the lesson I found in it … to be attentive to what is being asked of us in any given moment.

Sometimes, working nonstop and putting all your energy into your copywriting career and making it get up and go is the right thing to do. Other times, we have to just accept that life is asking something else of us … and surrender.

If you’re getting stalled for the usual garden variety reasons – procrastination, fear of failure or success, complacency, laziness – by all means, push through. Hard. But after you read Chris’ story, stop and ask yourself – are you missing something? Does some other part of your life require your complete focus right now? It just might be time to surrender, and have faith that if you do, everything you want and need will still come to you.

Welcome back, Chris. And thank you so much for being willing to share your story with the CP community. I am sure every single one of us has something to learn from it – even if it is just to stop, reflect, and be thankful for a moment.

Walking Through Fire
by Chris Allsop

It was late on a cold Wednesday in early March when I found myself sitting in a hospital emergency room. After months of watching my husband, Brian, slowly slip into confusion and bizarre behavior, I was determined to finally have a diagnosis.

It began more than a year ago. I saw changes in him. Nothing startling, at first. Just little things you brush off as stress. But by late summer, his forgetfulness and confusion was getting worse … and there were even more subtle personality changes. We joked about it at first, especially our three girls.

But by January, Brian was having difficulty working. He needed to nap every two hours or so. Tasks, once automatic, were now too difficult for him to do. Just getting ready in the morning was a chore.

The jokes were no longer funny.

I found myself running 16 hours a day, trying to hold things together for my family. Picking up all the things he could no longer handle, working fulltime at my job, plus overtime even. I hadn’t written a word of copy since finishing a spec assignment two months earlier. And not one of the spec assignments I submitted from this year’s bootcamp was successful anyway.

Normally, I would be discouraged – but not this time. Something much bigger was afoot – and I realized I had to give it all of my attention.

I was watching my husband, my partner, disappear before my eyes. Even more heart wrenching was the effect on my kids. The dad they adore, their rock, was no longer really there. How do you comfort your children, and answer their questions, when you don’t have the faintest idea of what you’re dealing with?

Of course, he visited our family doctor. I took him to a Naturopathic Doctor. The diagnosis was depression and low testosterone levels. So we began working with a therapist. All the while, I combed through page after page of information trying to find answers. Our doctor ordered tests but some, like an MRI scan, would take months to get done. (That is a side effect of the free Canadian health system – but this is another story).

I think I experienced every emotion there is – beginning with the darkest. Worry. Fear. Anger. Frustration. Yet somewhere in the midst of all of this – I’m still not sure exactly when – it hit me. Worry and fear were leading me down a path where I didn’t want to go. I suddenly realized that, no matter what happens, I am still responsible for my happiness. That I’ll always have the ability to create my life and move in the direction of my dreams. And most importantly, that I have the power of God and the universe behind me. Somehow, in my darkest moments, I had found faith.

February drew to a close. In spite of everything we had done, Brian’s confusion and strange behavior grew worse. And then my gut kicked in. I decided we could no longer wait. No more waiting for tests or visits to doctors. On that Wednesday night, after supper, my daughter and I took Brian to a local hospital emergency room. One way or another, I was determined to finally know what we were dealing with.

Not surprisingly, the ER staff screened him first for depression. We sat with a young social worker who listened patiently as my daughter and I described his increasingly bizarre symptoms. She then asked him all of the standard screening questions for depression. Then she asked, "Brian, do you know today’s date?" My husband confidently answered "Of course. It’s February 20th, 2009." She replied gently, "Would it surprise you to know its March 4th?"

I nearly hugged her when she then turned to me and said, "This is not depression. We’ll run more tests tonight."

Two hours later, we were standing in the ER looking at Brian’s brain on a CAT scan. The golf ball-sized tumor was clearly visible – even to untrained eyes like mine. The combined feeling of sheer relief and horror is almost impossible to describe. Yet the relief quickly took over. We finally knew what was wrong. And now, we could deal with it.

Brian had brain surgery on Saturday, March 7th. He came through with flying colors. The tumor and a resultant cyst were both benign. The pressure on his brain and pituitary gland was gone. Fluid that had accumulated in every brain cavity could now drain.

Within a day of surgery, it was clear – I have my husband back. My girls have their dad. The confusion, fatigue, forgetfulness, and strange behavior, are all gone.

It’s hard to describe how we feel. In these past months, we were looking down the barrel of a loaded gun. The trigger was pulled. I heard the click – yet nothing happened. We dodged the bullet. And for that, I am grateful beyond words.

In the days since the surgery, I’ve started looking back on these last couple of months – and at the renewed faith I found from the depths of darkness. I began to notice how well we were being taken care of – as if puzzle pieces were falling perfectly into place. Even my spec assignments – the ones that didn’t result in jobs – seemed like a blessing. In spite of any disappointment, I knew it was not meant for me to land those jobs. I could not have possibly taken on a paid assignment and done the job well in these last two months!

The time to focus on my husband was literally handed to me. I see now … it was a gift.

This gift is only one of many examples. And while these past few months were not easy, as crazy as it may sound, I would not have traded this experience for anything. Mike Dooley sums it up well. “If you look closely enough, intent upon understanding those things that cause you great pain and consternation … you’ll find great joy and illumination. And if you look closer still, you’ll see all such things as proof of life’s infinite grace.”

I now know, and I mean I really know, that I’ll go on to create the life I’ve always wanted. Doubt is gone. I’ll get back to writing in the next week or two as life returns to a normal routine. I’ll continue with my plan to begin my fulltime copywriting career in the next year or so. Yet if a detour should be inserted in my path, I’ll view it as an experience I needed to reach my goals. Heck, it may even be an unexpected gift of a springboard, set there to make the way faster.

I’ll leave those details up to God. As for me, I’m on my way.

Resource Referral: Room For A New Group

Not only am I thrilled that Chris’ story had such a happy ending … I am also glad to be here for her now that she is ready to pick up the pieces and start charging towards her goal again.

This is the part of what a mentoring group can do for you that we don’t think to mention. Hold the bag and root for you while you attend to life’s curve balls and distraction. And be there when you come back.

Maybe the time hasn’t been right for you before – maybe you had your own challenges to face. But I wanted to alert you today that I am ready for a new group now – and have room for four new members of the Copy Protégé mentoring Program – and invite you consider joining the program now.

Over the past 2 years, we’ve watched our protégées accomplish the goals they set out to achieve, and then some. From winning the AWAI Spec Challenge, to landing a prize client, to getting a substantial pay raise and part ownership in their job – these dedicated members are going places.

And we cheer them on – and sometimes push them – and other times wait for them – all along the way.

Here’s what a handful of them say about the program:

"Over the course of my Copy Protégé Mentoring program, I submitted 5 spec assignments, AWAI became a client of mine, I got on AWAI’s Wall of Fame and I had an article about my copywriting business philosophy published in The Golden Thread Online – and Michael Masterson commented on it. I couldn’t have done any of this without your steady guiding hand, Krista, and my three companion mentorees. Thanks all of you. You set my career on the right path."
– P. T., New Jersey

"Wow! You’re my favorite mentor Monica! Thanks for the copy … you just know what works! And as far as my marketing plan … thank you for kicking me into action. Keep on pushing me, I’ll get there."
– D.V., Israel

"Copy Protégé’s mentoring program is the perfect fusion of attentive tutoring and peer review. Your expert coaching helped me discover my copywriting strengths; your focus guided me back on track when I wandered off course; your enthusiastic cheerleading encouraged me every step of the way. Krista, you’re a generous and talented teacher who has a gift for recognizing big ideas as well as seeing the smallest details – whether in a writing assignment or career development."
– A. R., North Carolina

"I just want to thank you for all the help you gave me during the Copy Protege Mentoring Program. It was invaluable to have a tried-and-true professional guide me through those awkward steps of deciding what I want from my career and how to go out and get it. Thanks to you, I am well on my way to doing what I love and making a whole lot of money in the process!!"
– K.L.

If you are ready to join these protégées, please send a writing sample (no more than 2 pages) and your goals for the next six months to admin@copyprotege.com. Keep in mind, I only have four spots available, and would like to start this new group in the next two weeks. So write now!

Quick Tip: Get Some Sleep

We have been struggling in our household to adjust to the time change this year. Maybe because it came earlier in the year than it used to, or because it came along the same time as a wave of flu and cold viruses swept through our house – we are really feeling whipped by it this year!

It also came at a rough time in my own life. In just the last four weeks I have been to Austin, Virginia, upstate Pennsylvania, New York City – plus hosted Krista here from Atlanta where we worked intensively for three days on developing a new product (stay tuned!).

With not more than a day or two in between to switch suitcases, do some laundry, and turn my attention to the next task at hand, exhaustion has set in.

I am prone to thinking I can wave the magic wand of supplements and caffeine and make it go away. But as I sit here today and a new case of sniffles and sneezing sets in – I have to admit it:

Nothing can take the place of laying your body down and getting rest when you’re depleted.

It’s easy to fall prey to the idea that we have to keep going. And when you are self-employed, it can be even harder to give yourself a day to rest and catch up. When my employed friends would complain about not getting enough “sick days” at their job – I used to remind them that when you work for yourself, there is no such thing as a sick day. At least, not a paid one.

But in reading Chris’ story today – and noticing how my body is feeling – I am inclined to throw in the towel. And rather than make one more cup of tea to keep going … lie down for a siesta instead. I am inclined to notice my body – and give it what it really needs rather than push it to keep going, no matter what.

If any of this rings true to you, I invite you to do the same.

Whether the time change caught you off guard … or the intensity of the flu season … or the dedication to achieving your goals at any cost – it might be time to take a deep breath, and a long nap. I am willing to bet you’ll get twice as much accomplished tomorrow.